A Little Night Reading

Lately I've been doing some reading as a good friend and Sister-In-Arms shares her research library with me. An NCFA publication came across my screen this week. It is a booklet called "_____MOTHER, GOOD MOTHER, Her Story of Heroic Redemption" published in 2007 by the Family Research Council and the National Council for Adoption and authored by Charles T. Kenny, Ph.D. Page 3 of the booklet has one the most remarkable statements I have read in quite some time. (NB: The B word has been removed from this quote.)

From Page 3 of the booklet:

"Some of the _____mothers who placed their children fifteen or more years before the interviews took place felt extreme pressure and even coercion to do so. Their bitter feelings about their experiences set the stage for understanding the profound importance of involving _____mothers in the process of selecting loving families for their children. Many _____mothers who felt coerced or tricked into placing their children for adoption were not at peace with the adoption. The resentment one _____mother expressed regarding feeling forced into adoption was typical of those who had felt coercion: ‘Coercion, lies, and deceit... That worked on me... The mother-child bond is really strong. I think that’s more important than having two parents. My baby was denied breast milk, knowing his grandparents. I was denied watching him grow and have a life together. Fear is what makes people sign relinquishing papers, fear that it (keeping the baby) will make their life worse than better. (_____ mothers’) fear is taken advantage of... It is deceitful. It (coercive adoption) is not really concerned with the best interest of the mom and baby... It’s concerned with receiving healthy, white babies for people’."

"This _____mother felt that no one was really concerned about her and her child. She felt judged, refer to adoption as an "industry," rather than considering it a social service in the best interests of children. Because she felt forced into adoption, she did not feel the decision was her own and was bitter about her adoption placement. The _____mothers who felt this way were older,generally having placed their children more than 25 years earlier, when the stigma against single-parenting was far greater than it is today. Then, as the _____mothers described, it was also more common for social workers and nurses to pressure women into adoption. Women should never feel forced into adoption, and when they are, the system has failed them."

"Thankfully, such occurrences have become quite rare. The younger _____mothers felt they had made their decisions voluntarily, and as a result, they "owned" their decisions. As they struggled through the process of making decisions, they successfully resisted being pressured by others. One ______mother said: ‘It was eye opening... You need to control yourself, how to handle people and situations. Look, I made, or we made this decision. I’m giving myself back the power. I did something I’m not happy or proud about (getting pregnant), but it’s me that has the power. I’m in control. Nobody was telling me to do XYZ. They are just throwing out suggestions... When you are in control, you know I’m going to do A, then B, then C... Look at me. Yes, this is what happened. Look what I did. Look where I am now’."

Do my eyes deceive me? The NCFA is saying BSE moms were coerced!

Barb, for BSERI